We Carry On

Stars

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." --Oscar Wilde

Custom Baby Journal

Hello Blog :]] I've been missing you a lot lately, but life has been SUCH a whirlwind. We sold our house [in four days!], moved across town three days before Christmas, and had a baby in there somewhere. CRAZY.

But now that we're starting to get settled,  I've been working on tons of new art and journal stuff, and I can't wait to start sharing it with you. Trying to figure out how to squeeze it all in around a newborn's "schedule" [haha, as if. I'm blogging from my phone right now.]

The one thing I HAVE kept up with over the last few months has been Baby's Journal. I knew I didn't want to do a traditional "baby book" to keep up with the first year of her life, so I created a custom journal. I used the cover of an old music book, and bound pages of mixed media paper, scrapbook paper and other bits and pieces. This was my first time binding a whole hard-cover book, too!

It's part baby book [stats on her birth, her birth story, notes from her baby shower] and part journal from me to her [thoughts about being pregnant, how we picked her name, personal mushy stuff about being her mama] Most pages are very personal and I won't share them here, but some are fun, like this calendar that had everyone's guesses about when she would arrive [notice that I had to go back to the page and add an extra WEEK because holy cow, she took her time ...]

I had been holding onto that "Spirit of Adventure" balloon [from the movie Up!] for over a year and a half, waiting for the perfect journal spot for it.

Hospital bracelets, foot prints and birth stats [her birth story is on the following page]. Design-wise, this page is not my favorite, but I feel like it represents the weird fog of those first few baby weeks. I knew I wanted to get it all down before I forgot, and before those snippets got lost in the move, but I put next to NO thought into how to do it beautifully. Getting it down was more important than getting it down perfectly.

I have about a thousand photos to print and add to pages [I left a giant space on this page, which is made from the cute wrapping paper my mom used to wrap Baby's first Christmas ornament]

Some of my favorite pages are behind this divider. You will definitely be seeing more of those pages soon; in fact, once this baby book is full, I'll probably continue a new journal just for those Rules.

How I'm "Uncomplicating" My Journal

I'm making some changes to the way I keep a journal, and it's been really fun. Over the last three years, I've kept sixteen-ish art journals, most of them finished, some not so finished. In the beginning, I was mostly drawing and gluing, staying away from paints. Once I bought my first watercolor journal, though, I was hooked. My love of painted pages grew until my journals were essentially bound books of small paintings. I love looking back at these books, but I also know that those pages were ones created when I had time to sit at my desk and create with full access to all my supplies. Most were created late at night, when a lot of feelings needed to be expressed into paint, but very, very few pages were created on the go.

I've really wanted to move back into keeping all of my life in one big book, rather than carrying an art journal, a notebook and a calendar. Moving towards that goal, though, meant un-complicating the way I was creating pages. You can see the start of that shift in this post on my 2013 Journal Intentions.

In January, I created a small, pieced-together art journal from scraps that I had around my studio. I quickly found, however, that I had created a very inconvenient size, and that the blank pages were a bit too intimidating for me. I moved on [I'll probably come back to that journal later this year] and started a new watercolor notebook, this time taking care to create lots of pages that could be modified on the go; meaning, not adding tons of layers of paint that I can't write over, creating spaces for notes and lists, keeping everything very slim and intentional.

Page One; marker, ink splatter, modeling paste, washi tape & graph paper

 I had a moment with this animal print at the craft store. Plus a whole lined page for lots of note-taking.

A space to write some meaningful words [watercolor background, acrylic and white ink pen for the writing.]

Magazine pages create perfect "hidey-holes" [my new favorite Betsy Garmon technique/verbiage]. Flip the page over to cover the more intimate details of your journal.

Created a painted border, with a giant open space for more note-taking.

And one good ol' painted page, for good measure [though to be technical, this is watercolor and spray-ink, a far cry from the thick pages of gesso and acrylic I'm used to!]

Trust Without Borders // Venturing Out Into the Great Unknown

The shift from one season to another is always such an interesting place to find yourself, especially when the seasons are changing from, say, winter into spring. You spend so much time in the winter looking forward to the spring; dreaming of what it will feel like to thaw out a little, to see endless days of sunshine. Then, suddenly, as the spring surprises you with her arrival, you find yourself a little undone; where did you come from? I'm never quite ready for the shift.

{lyrics from a song I wish I had written [link below]}

That's where I [and my little family] find myself right now. I've been begging for spring, and suddenly, it's here, and I'm still trying to shed my winter layers. For months I've been waiting for every single shift that's occurring right now, and yet in the midst of it all I find myself a little undone. The past months have been a time for rest and recovery, and the coming [and current] months are about jumping in; about activating a few dreams that have been sitting dormant the last little while. It's spring [FINALLY holy crap] but I keep finding myself balking a little at the idea of shedding heavy winter coats.

Activating dreams is risky business; part of me much prefers introverted reflection. I'd really rather not take that leap of faith, or jump off the edge. I've been accused in my life of being all "Ready, Aim" and never quite "Fire." I'm having to change all that, though, and really break down the parts of me that keep me constantly stuck at "Aim". I've made tiny revolutions in this arena over the last few years, but it's come time to do the bigger work. Making leaps with haircuts, job changes, paint colors, relationships, moves, have all been the baby steps leading up to the big leap ... moving off of ready, aim and onto fire with my life-dreams.

Lead me where my trust is without borders. My heart is in my throat just typing that because I know what it means I need to do next. And sometimes it's hard to start releasing dreams into the open air when you're used to incubating them.

This song, though ... oh, this song. This song is the newest prayer of my heart as those parts of me get broken down and put aside. Isn't it bizarre to hear or read something that someone else across the globe has written and think, "THOSE are the words I've been looking for!"

365 Project: Pretty Little Words

I'm so excited to share with you some photos of my 365 Project: Pretty Little Words. One of my goals this year is to grow in my calligraphy and hand-lettering skills. I'm committed to practicing every day in my sketchbook or with my tablet. I won't be posting every day, just because the thought of that kind of exhausts me, but I'll try to share a peek every week! I can already feel this project pushing me, both in creativity and in technique.

See something you like? Email me for print prices!

My 2013 Journal Intentions

It's been a while since I've posted anything about my journals. To be honest, it's been a weird year for journaling. I had a loooong Skype date with Betsy a few days ago, and she provided not only the kick in the pants I needed to start something new, but also the inspiration, and the wisdom behind the 'why'. December 31st seems to be a pretty cliche time to be posting about my intentions for the New Year, but I believe my family and I are about to round the corner into a new season that will coincide with the turning of the calendar, so I guess you're just stuck with a New Years-ish post about journaling!

This last year I've keept a journal full of painted pages:

This is a format I picked up from Betsy, during a season of my life where I had graduated with a degree in music, but was about to walk away from all things creative, go get "just a desk job" somewhere and abandon my true gifts and calling out of utter frustration and burned-out-ness. In that season I met Betsy and was immediately drawn into the world of  art journaling. It became my sole creative outlet; I spent a good year of my life with nothing to do with music. My journal became a part of me in that season.

I love the painted page, and actually think some of what I have created in my little sketchbooks is quite compelling; I've even turned a few pages into artwork for my new home. But the painted page has kept me from getting to the actual work of documenting my life and my heart. In order to get a page done, I need a desk, and paint, and time for paint to dry, and a whole host of other things. I end up waiting to have time to spread out, while collecting ephemera and odds and ends. It's a beautiful book that offers nothing in the area of portability, or real-time documenting. [And here's a truth; when you spend more time organizing your piles than doing anything with the stuff IN the piles, something is broken in your process and workflow.]

So, thanks to Betsy's encouragement and gentle ass-kicking, I spent the morning creating a quick little journal. Made out of things I already had around [paper bags, scrap paper, binder rings], I'm hoping it will be the container I need in this season; portable, easy to staple/tape/glue odds and ends into, not too fussy, but still kind of lovely and graphic. [Ironically, the day before I spent a few hours organizing all my ephemera by color ... and then putting it back in a drawer.]

The cover is made from a file folder that I covered with old book pages and a magazine graphic I don't even remember where I picked up. Edges bound with cheap washi tape and packing tape from Home Depot. Quick and dirty were the key phrases in making this guy.

Paper bag pocket-pages

A Chipotle bag I had saved from who knows how long ago. Maybe 2013 will bring my dream job!

Hud wanted to make a page - that's a drawing of our family [and The Hulk] on a rocket ship.

The three-ring style makes it easy for me to add pages if I need it, but I intend on creating quick new journals when I need them, and then binding the whole lot of them at the end of the year. I'm already excited to jump into it, but can I make a confession? My perfectionist heart is already intimidated by it. What if every page isn't shareable or beautiful or lovely? I think the fact that this is my first reaction to it means it will be a good new thing for me. You can ask my husband ... my perfectionism needs a good shaking up this year.

Advent, Day Eight

Falling a little behind here, but you'll forgive me, won't you? I'm enjoying jumping in with both feet to my first married Christmas [and my first Christmas with kiddos. It's better than I could have imagined!]

See the rest of the series here: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

Advent, Day Seven

Simple today; love well, love much. 

Philipians 1:3-11

See the rest of the series here: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

Advent, Day Six: Advent In Light of Tragedy

I opened my Bible yesterday to read the verse for the day's lettering project {Luke 1:68-79}. When I read the last few verses, I immediately choked up. It's hard to read about 'God's Mercy' in the light of a tragic event like the school shooting Friday, but there it is, in black and white; He grants light to those sitting in the shadow of death. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. The paradox of God's grace and light in times of darkness is sometimes infuriating, but always true; the grace he grants in our darkest darkness is always the sweetest.

See the rest of the series here: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Advent, Day Five

Advent, Day Five. I kind of adore the simplicity of this one. Today's reading was Malachi 3:1-4. This is my extreme paraphrase. Because isn't that what Advent is? Preparing the way?

[For a killer read on the season of Advent, I've loved Erika Morrison's article on Deeper Story this week]

See the rest of the series here: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Advent, Part Four

Advent, part four. Today's is much cheerier than yesterday's was! Do you ever have an impossible day?  I think every day since we've been home from our honeymoon has been an impossible day for Brandon and I. Today was another impossible day, actually, but sometimes you just gotta buck up and believe that, I don't know, the fact that the sun is shining in the sky means that everything is gonna be okay.

Yeah, I just rolled my eyes at me, too.

But you know what? Yes, everything sucks right now. Yes, I just said sucks, it's my blog, I make the rules here. And yes, things seem to only be getting harder, and the tide seems like it will never, ever turn. And yes, it's Christmas and that only seems to magnify every tiny [or massive] problem. But. But! We both woke up alive this morning. I drank coffee in bed - one of my favorite luxuries on slow mornings. I just talked to my husband on the phone [he's at the office 'till at least ten tonight. so gross, right?] and got to tell him that I love him, and hear him say the same thing. Thanks to the sheer amount of completely awful things that have made their way onto our plate this season, I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I married the absolute right man, and that marriage is the best thing to ever happen to me. So those are all things that bring joy, right? Right. I'm hanging onto those things today.

And this verse. This verse brings me joy.

And may He pour on the love so it fills your lives and splashes over on everyone around you, just as it does from us to you. May you be infused with strength and purity, filled with confidence in the presence of God.

See the rest of the series here: 1 | 2 | 3

Advent, part three

A short late-night post. Today has been a long, very difficult day. Confession time? This verse is actually tomorrow's reading, but I cheated and switched the two days. I read ahead and just knew that this one was meant to be shared today. A light is coming. That truth might not ring in your ears tonight; I know that tonight, it doesn't in mine. But that it doesn't feel true doesn't make it stop being truth.

A light is coming. A light is coming. A light. is. coming. 

See the rest of the Advent series here: 1 | 2 

Advent, part two

Today's reading was Psalm 25. I picked this center section out because it reminded me a little of Brandon's wedding vows to me. And shouldn't the love you find in marriage mirror the love you find in the Bible, and the other way around? I'm learning how to wait expectantly on God because my husband waits expectantly on me. Waits with patience, waits with wholehearted love and affection. Waits with expectation without weighing me down with expectations. 

I'm one of the lucky ones; this I know.

{Side note: Brandon gave me a copy of his wedding vows on our wedding night, and I gave him mine.  I went to read over them when I was waiting for the ink to dry on this piece, and totally cried, then cried again reading the letter he wrote me on our wedding day. One of these days I'll tell you guys our love story, because it's a special one. In the meantime, I need to go kiss my husband this minute!}

See the rest of the Advent Series: 1

Advent, Part One

The other night, I was talking to Mr. Fiddler about Advent; he told me he had never heard of it! Growing up, my family always did either an Advent Wreath or an Advent Calendar, so I thought it was a normal Christmas tradition. Doing a little research about it, I'm finding out that it's a very Catholic tradition, which struck me as funny because my family is not Catholic at all. Now that I have my own family, I don't even know where to buy an Advent Wreath, and Advent Calendars don't exactly fit in a home where kids aren't here every day [which hello, have you been on Pinterest? Advent Calendars are taking over. Next to Elf on the Shelf, which I kinda find just a little creepy.]

In a season that can so easily be derailed by business and expectations, Advent is such a beautiful way to reset your soul. Mr. Fiddler and I laid in bed the other night talking about Christmas; who was going where what day, what gifts we were buying, what dinners we were going to. It quickly escalated to tears [for me]. What eucharisteo is to my heart in the Thanksgiving season, Advent is to my heart at  Christmas. A shift in focus; from the kind of expectations that bring me to tears, to the kind of expectation that fills the soul with hope. A light is coming. 

And so for you, my friends, and for me; I'm lettering my way through the Scriptures of this year's Advent. I hope it brings to you what Advent means; expectation, hope, love and joy.

Lately

I can't stop journaling and I can't stop writing on things with pretty pens. [although, can you see where one of my 'pretty pens' exploded on my journal page? not a happy thing!]

Art Journaling

So I have a confession; I'm falling behind on things on my real-life to-do lists because I'm spending every spare second that I can find dabbling in my art journal {if i'm not spending it with my amazing fiance. although last night i just packed up a whole basket of art supplies and worked on my journal in the floor of his home office while he worked late into the night, and it was totally the best of all worlds. happy face!}

I used to art journal extensively, for a few years. I could always be found with washi tape in my bag, and plethora of pens for my messy messy journal. Then, last year, the journaling kind of just ... stopped. The need to document my life, to find paint colors that matched the way I felt, just faded away. Maybe instagram took it's place, who knows. 

All I know is that a few weeks ago, I met up with one of my dearest friends Betsy. As I knew she would, she plopped down at our lunch table with two HUGE art journals, and opened a page she had already prepped to take notes on our {three hour} lunch conversation. I'm entering a huge transitional period in my life {becoming a wife, becoming a stepmom, moving, moving again, changing jobs} and Betsy questioned whether or not I was giving myself space to dream. I wrote her questions in my {plain, black and white} notepad. 

I wasn't giving myself space to dream. I've been drowning in other people's creative work for me, and not nourishing my own. Not at all ironically, fiance and I had a big bonfire the following week, and I took an entire box of old journals and purged them in the firepit. {i ripped out the good stuff first} I went a bought a new art journal the next day and now ... I am obsessed. I need it. Words make me think too much, but finding colors and splashing paint helps me sort out whatever I'm working through. It's better than therapy, really. Or at least somewhat cheaper.