Friday, March 1, 2013

Trust Without Borders // Venturing Out Into the Great Unknown

The shift from one season to another is always such an interesting place to find yourself, especially when the seasons are changing from, say, winter into spring. You spend so much time in the winter looking forward to the spring; dreaming of what it will feel like to thaw out a little, to see endless days of sunshine. Then, suddenly, as the spring surprises you with her arrival, you find yourself a little undone; where did you come from? I'm never quite ready for the shift.

{lyrics from a song I wish I had written [link below]}

That's where I [and my little family] find myself right now. I've been begging for spring, and suddenly, it's here, and I'm still trying to shed my winter layers. For months I've been waiting for every single shift that's occurring right now, and yet in the midst of it all I find myself a little undone. The past months have been a time for rest and recovery, and the coming [and current] months are about jumping in; about activating a few dreams that have been sitting dormant the last little while. It's spring [FINALLY holy crap] but I keep finding myself balking a little at the idea of shedding heavy winter coats.

Activating dreams is risky business; part of me much prefers introverted reflection. I'd really rather not take that leap of faith, or jump off the edge. I've been accused in my life of being all "Ready, Aim" and never quite "Fire." I'm having to change all that, though, and really break down the parts of me that keep me constantly stuck at "Aim". I've made tiny revolutions in this arena over the last few years, but it's come time to do the bigger work. Making leaps with haircuts, job changes, paint colors, relationships, moves, have all been the baby steps leading up to the big leap ... moving off of ready, aim and onto fire with my life-dreams.

Lead me where my trust is without borders. My heart is in my throat just typing that because I know what it means I need to do next. And sometimes it's hard to start releasing dreams into the open air when you're used to incubating them.

This song, though ... oh, this song. This song is the newest prayer of my heart as those parts of me get broken down and put aside. Isn't it bizarre to hear or read something that someone else across the globe has written and think, "THOSE are the words I've been looking for!"

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